Love and Marriage. 💍
Today, I will be sharing with you my thoughts on Love and marriage. 🥂
I have been married for 13 years to my husband, Robert Phillips and our marriage has taught me what Love is and how to Love.
Let’s start by defining Love.
Love. An intense feeling of deep affection. Synonyms, deep affection, fondness tenderness, warmth, intimacy, interaction, A verb Feel deep affection or sexual love for (someone). “Do you love me?” Synonyms: Be in love with, be infatuated with, be smitten with, be besotted with, be passionate about.
For me, Love is when the bank balance is low and you stick by their side, when you have nothing but you choose to hold their hand, when you lose everything but all you think of is how you would not want anyone by your side but them. Love is when your partner is low, and they are discouraged or deeply disappointed you put YOU aside and you encourage them, you be strong for them remind them of whom they are. Love is when you laugh together till your tummies hurt, Love is when you hear a song you both know or like and you both start busting out notes no matter where you are. Love is holding their hand in public and being so proud of being seen with them. Love is fighting clean, we all argue and disagree, but we keep it clean. We deal with things as they come, we talk about them, and get through them. Do not Harbor things and bring the past into present arguments. Love is loving hard, forgiving, respecting, understanding and communicating. This is my and my husband’s definition of love.
Now, let’s define marriage? Marriage, the legally or formally recognized union between 2 people as partners in a personal relationship.
Marriage is between 2 people, 2 people who choose each other and who chooses to work at it.
Marriage is not easy, not by a long shot but if 2 people have made a conscious decision to make it work there is no stopping them. Marriage comes with sacrifices and compromises because it is not just you any more. It is a relationship that is NEVER perfect and CONSTANT work in progress. We learn every day.
Marriage has also taught me that we all have a different definition, expression and meaning for Love because we have been raised differently, we express differently and our love languages are different but Love is an emotion we all feel deep down inside.
Love is a journey with highs, lows, smiles, tears, sunshine and rainy days. I have learnt that it is vital to understand each other, to make time for each other and to speak each other’s love language.
Let me break these down:
1. When I say understand, I mean you know your partner in and out. With understanding makes your communication, your interaction, your relationship so much easier. You know how to respond or to react. Because you come from a place of understanding.
2. Making time is of utmost importance, we have 4 kids, and we make time. Every evening we take a bath together to catch up on each other’s day and to just relax together and before bed we have a cup of tea or coffee together. We have our date nights and sometimes we are so busy that we do a lunch date while the kids are at school. We are just as important as our children, school meetings, work meetings etc.
It is important to know your love language so that you can communicate this to your partner for them to show you and for your partner to communicate their love language and you show them love by speaking their love language.
The Five Love Languages Defined. Do you know the 5 Love Languages?
Here they are:
l. Words of affirmation — using words to build up the other person. “Thanks for taking out the rubbish.” Not — “It’s about time you took the rubbish out. The flies were going to carry it out for you.”
2. Gifts — a gift says, “He was thinking about me. Look what he got for me.”
3. Acts of Service — Doing something for your spouse that you know they would like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service.
4. Quality time by which I mean, giving your spouse your undivided attention. Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off — talking and listening.
5. Physical touch — holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are all expressions of love.
Out of these five, each of you has a primary love language which speaks more deeply to you than all the others.
Discovering each other’s language and speaking it regularly is the best way to keep love alive in a marriage. These have worked and is still working for us.
In marriage you need to find your rhythm not everything works for everyone. Robert and I work hard at our marriage, we have our down days, we miss the mark, we drop the ball, but we get up, and we take it one day at a time.
Marriage is a journey meant to be enjoyed it is not a marathon or keeping up with others.
I hope this post can Inspire, Impact and give hope to someone who needs it.
11 years of nappies.